


Go Get Your Brother

by TianaTeaticket



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Has No Chill, M/M, Protective Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TianaTeaticket/pseuds/TianaTeaticket
Summary: After pissing off a group of delinquents, Hux convinces them to fight his brother instead of himself.The only issue is, he does not have a brother. Just a surly roommate with muscles that would really come in handy during a situation like this.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	1. In which Hux expects and does not explain

‘Kylo!’ Hux shouted, flinging open the apartment door. This action alone should alert readers to our protagonist's distressed state; he consistently reprimanded his roommate for carelessly opening the door and scratching up the paint with the handle. 

For once, there was something more important than keeping the walls of his and Kylo’s shitty apartment a completely unscathed shade of eggshell. 

‘In the shower,’ Kylo yelled back. 

With a continued lack of his usual care, Hux burst straight into the bathroom, knowing the door wouldn’t be locked. You see, locks are a defense used by people who do not regularly bench press three times their body weight, or have arms the size of melons, both of which are traits possessed by Kylo, much to the frustration and secret titillation of Hux.

‘What the fuck-’

‘Get out of the shower. Now.’ Hux said, speaking slightly louder to be heard over the running water. Kylo peeked his head around the shower curtain, obviously extending his neck as far as possible to remain somewhat hidden. His hair was full of shampoo, curls piled up high and soapy on his head. Hux’s lips quirked up for just a second at the sight, and his eyes followed one small bubble in particular that meandered from Kylo’s hairline down his right cheek. 

Then Hux remembered himself and the situation at hand. It would be impossible to tell his facial muscles even knew how to smile, let alone had actually been attempting the act mere moments before, judging by the stoneniess it displayed immediately after. Kylo stared at him.

‘Hux. Get the hell out.’

‘I need your help,’ Hux responded, shaking himself out of whatever stupor he had lapsed into. Stupors are a dangerous diversion for someone without massive pecs and a threatening exterior. 

The sleeve on Hux’s grey peacoat- an odd garment to be wearing in a bathroom with a shower running- suddenly became much more interesting to look at.

‘Surely whatever you need me to fix or whatever goddamn homework question you need help with can wait for ten fucking minutes.’

If only it were that simple, Hux thought before deciding to just bite the bullet and get it out there. This situation was already weird enough and too much examination of it would make him realize it was of his own doing, anyway.

Self reflection is not a pretty pastime.

‘You need to beat some people up for me,’ he said.

‘No.’

‘Please.’

‘Absolutely not.’ Kylo pulled the shower curtain all the way to the wall and, presumably, began rinsing out his hair. Hux was a lot of things, and one of them was a manipulative bastard. He knew he could start the explanation at the beginning and go through all of the reasons why his current predicament was a tiny bit his fault, but the quickest way to get his roommate in the street beating up three people would be to hit Kylo’s weaknesses. These weaknesses include, but are not limited to: Kylo’s protective streak and occasional moments of extreme empathy. 

Hux broke out his doe eyes, regardless of whether Kylo could see them or not, and the most pitiful voice imaginable. A true feat of performativity and deception.

‘They called me a ginger pansy ass,’ Hux said. ‘They want to beat me up.’ 

Kylo snorted out a sound that might have been a laugh, but he quickly shut that shit down. Hux saw the shadow hanging his head in defeat through the shower curtain.

‘Give me two minutes and then I’ll see if I can help you,’ Kylo said. ‘But I expect a complete explanation.’

‘Thank you, Kylo,’ Hux responded, already working on alternative stories- otherwise known as ‘lies’- to tell Kylo that might encourage him to actually go beat up the three thugs outside their front door. 

‘Give me two minutes alone please!’ Kylo snapped.

‘Of course,’ Hux rushed out of the bathroom, his eyes glued to the second hand of his watch. One hundred and twenty seconds. He was going to hold Kylo to it.


	2. In which bathrobes prove to be especially distracting

‘So let me get this straight,’ Kylo said, sitting cross-legged on the couch in only a fluffy black bathrobe. ‘For reasons too terrible to be stated in my presence, three monstrous men with “really impressive beards” decided to call you all sorts of disgusting things and then tried to jump you?’

‘That’s the beginning of it.’

‘Oh, of course. Because instead of just embracing your probably well-deserved fate, you told them that beating up a “ginger pansy ass” would not be honorable. Instead they should beat up your brother.’

‘Your memory is a thing of wonder. It’s almost shocking how you got all that but can’t ever seem to remember when it’s your turn to take out the trash-’

‘Shut up, smartass,’ Kylo seethed, holding up a hand and, subsequently, letting one side of his bathrobe open enough to allow Hux a glimpse of nipple. He wished he felt more ashamed of how utterly preoccupying that was for him, but Hux was never one for shame. He couldn’t see the point in it, thank you very much. Kylo continued. 

‘How on earth did you convince a group of meatheads to not pummel you into the ground? You have the sort of face that asks to be beaten up even without you doing anything obnoxious.’

‘You know me. I’m persuasive.’

Kylo raised an eyebrow. ‘Unfortunately I’m aware. Bastard. But I’m also aware of the fact that no matter how persuasive you are, you cannot persuade the universe to magic you up a brother out of thin air. Maybe you’ve forgotten, but you are an only child, Hux.’

Hux, making eye contact with the nipple and not Kylo at all, tutted. ‘And that’s where you’re wrong. The universe did magic me up a brother, and his name is Kylo Ren.’

Silence. 

‘What?’

‘Surely you saw this coming. You’re going to pretend to be my brother and go beat those guys up.’

‘In what universe would I possibly look related to you?’

‘Maybe you were adopted?’ Hux tries.

‘Shut the fuck up. If anyone was adopted it’s you.’

‘Is that meant to be an insult? Because I’ll have you know several of my friends are adopted and-’

‘This is it,’ Kylo interrupts, standing. Hux follows him up with his eyes. ‘You are officially the worst roommate in history.’

‘You always say the sweetest things. Now go put on some clothes and win me a fight. Or don’t put on clothes. It might work in your favor.’

‘Why don’t you just let the matter drop? What did they do, pull some fifties movie crap and say to meet them in a specific parking lot at midnight for a beating?’

‘Ah, no,’ Hux said, standing to face Kylo. ‘They’re waiting outside. I’m afraid there isn’t a sneaky way out of this one.’

Saying nothing, Kylo turned around and kneeled on the couch, pushing open the window directly behind it and leaning out with almost his entire body. Now readers, imagine a straight man in the twenties looking at the thighs of a rather voluptuous pinup girl bent over to do something naughty, and you will have a general understanding of Hux’s mental state at this time. Unfortunately, the view did not last very long, as Kylo pulled himself back inside and plopped melodramatically on the couch.

‘You were right about one thing,’ he said. ‘Those beards are impressive.’ 

Kylo sighed and shot a glare at Hux, who was still standing and doing his best to loom over him.

‘I was really hoping to leave the apartment tonight,’ Hux said, puffing out his bottom lip ever so slightly. Kylo turned over onto his stomach and screamed into a cushion. Hux smiled. This was easier than he expected.


	3. In which fists are fun until they're not

Kylo and Hux lived in a disappointing apartment building on a less-than-savory street, meaning that the neighborhood watch consisted of drug dealers who consistently sat on their stoops and noticed all irregularities in the comings and goings of those around. This also meant that while cops were hard to come by; the sort who were typically on patrol were of the shoot-first-question-later variety. None of which was conducive to challenging three men to a fist fight when it’s barely dark out.

After putting on sweatpants and a black tank top - thank god, thank fucking god, Hux thought, more in reference to the tank top than anything else - Kylo stuck his keys in his pocket and walked out the apartment door, not seeming to care whether or not Hux followed. 

Which, of course, he did. 

They lived three floors up and Hux scurried after him.

‘Do you have a plan?’ Hux asked, pulling him to the area at the bottom of the stairs where their packages were left before Kylo could just barge out and begin laying down the law.  
‘Cause enough of a commotion that it catches someone’s attention and the fight breaks up. Then stage a melodramatic getaway so I don’t get caught as well.’ Kylo said it so surely that he had definitely either used the tactic before or spent a lot of time dreaming about the day he would be able to.

‘Sounds reasonable. What if no one stops you, though? They might do some damage considering the fight is three to one.’

Kylo gives him a look as if to say Really? and Hux lifts an eyebrow to respond with Touché.

Of course Kylo might have imagined a completely different non-verbal communication to have taken place there, but that is beside the point. Kylo cracked his knuckles and actually smiled. Just for a second. Just enough.

‘Alright, then. Let’s do it.’

\-------------------------------------------

One man was on the ground, barely conscious and moaning. Hux laughed from where he sat on the stoop; Kylo had barely hit the guy and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. A few passerby stopped to watch, and at least one person leaned out of the window of a passing taxi to take pictures, but no one seemed to be calling the police or anything. 

Typical. Not even a fist fight in the middle of a sidewalk used by goddamn children draws too much attention in the big city.

Kylo ducked a punch from one of the two men left fighting, while not-so-gracefully sidestepping a kick from the other. He got one into a headlock and began using a leg to try and keep the other away, looking rather cartoonish and completely delightful, his foot flapping about like it would do any damage. 

‘What exactly do you need to get to so desperately tonight, anyway?’ Kylo asked through gritted teeth. It took a moment for Hux to register that the question was aimed at him. Kylo released the man so he stumbled forward, and went for the other’s stomach.

‘Oh, a date. Fit bloke. Met him on Grindr this morning and you know how quickly these things move.’

‘What?’ Kylo shrieked, chest heaving from exertion. He stopped everything and looked straight at Hux, hands clenched to his sides.

Which is a delightful image and all, but this is a fight sequence, so of course Kylo took a fist to the face almost immediately after speaking.


	4. In which a deus ex machina arrives (and it's the police)

‘Wait, wait!’ Kylo spat the words out - along with a decent amount of blood - and held up his hands. ‘I forfeit.’

‘What?’ the two goons standing asked, nearly in unison.

‘What?’ Hux repeated, far louder and more obnoxiously. He grabbed the metal handrail to pull himself to standing. Being a step off the ground was perfect for glaring at every single person involved.

‘I forfeit,’ Kylo repeated. ‘Please, gentlemen, stay out here all night. Stand guard and wait for my brother,’ he gave Hux a disappointed look, ‘to come out all alone. I am sure whatever punishment you are planning to dole out is well-’

‘Police,’ moaned the man still bleeding on the ground. Everyone looked down at him, then followed his hand, held up in a limp attempt to point somewhere, to see two beat cops most definitely rushing in their direction.

‘Shit,’ said one of the men, and they rushed to get their friend upright and scurry off. Kylo took a step forward and grabbed Hux’s arm, only to be shaken off almost immediately.

‘We should run,’ he said.

‘No,’ Hux shouted back, trying to look as disgusted as physically possible. Of course, to Kylo, that was just the way his face looked naturally. A sort of Resting General Contempt Face. ‘You Judas-ass, Brutus motherfucker. You betrayed me. You were going to leave me to get pulverized by those monsters!’

‘This is so not the time to talk about that,’ Kylo said. He looked at the cops getting even closer, and his eyes hardened. A decision had been made. He put one hand on each of Hux’s shoulders and lifted him off the stoop.

‘Let me go!’ Hux shouted, wriggling in his grasp. For Kylo, lifting Hux was equivalent to one of us normal people with noodle arms picking up a rather well-packed lunchbox. One with an extra side and a juice box, perhaps, but a lunchbox nonetheless. Once Hux’s feet were firmly on the sidewalk, Kylo took him by the arm once more and did not allow himself to be shaken off.

They ran.

‘You have keys in your pocket you absolute moron,’ Hux lamented while he was dragged along. ‘We could have just gone up to the apartment. I'm sure they wouldn’t have checked.’

Kylo grunted like some sort of brute and sped up, running past the heavyweight opponents from mere moments before. Whatever Hux had done to them must not have seemed as bad in the face of the law. Kylo and Hux ran one block uptown and two blocks west, which was far more running than Hux would ever choose to partake in. He used marvelous pomade but even that has limitations - sweat and speed being two of them. 

A few members of the ‘neighborhood watch’ glanced up as they passed, with one who Kylo frequently tried to bum cigarettes off of giving a lazy wave, but no one paid much mind to the two boys dashing through the street. Weirder shit had happened. Weirder shit was likely to come by in the next ten minutes, to be honest.

Kylo stopped at a narrow alley, a damp looking place between a barbed-wire wrapped middle school and a corner shop, and analyzed it for no more than three seconds before dragging Hux in.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE AS OF JUNE 2020: I am planning to finish this at some point, but if you can't tell by the story, I live in an area with a less-than-commendable police work and am currently partaking in BLM activism as a full time job. This story has not been forgotten, there are just more important matters now.
> 
> Don't ask why there is sometimes a weird omniscient sort of narrator speaking to you.  
> My brain just wants him to be there, apparently.
> 
> Please excuse that each update is about 600 words long. Apparently that's how many my quarantined-brain can write before completely turning to mush and melting out of my ears. But I figure it's better to post as I'm generating it than make you all wait. Love love love.


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